大作文消失类-模拟写作，求分析

根据消失类的逻辑链和思路写的作文，题目是一道真题，就是报纸会不会消失。
大家能帮我看看大概能到几分么？
以及写出来的思路逻辑是不是可以的？
卡了时间，40分钟打出来四百多字，但是感觉用到的句子结构和连接词可能有些简单。

More and more people could now access information from computers and other electronic devices. Therefore, there is no need to use printed books, magazines, or newspapers on paper. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Because computers and other electronic devices can provide information for people, some people argue that printed books, magazines, or newspapers on paper will disappear. I agree with this statement.

It is no doubt that electronic devices, such as computers and mobile phones which are based on the Internet are better alternatives to printed books, magazines, or printed newspapers, and they have the same function of providing information. But compared with printed stuff, it is more efficient for people to gain information from electronic devices. For printed newspapers, it takes at least 24 hours to publish. When it comes to magazines, especially the fashion magazines which plan to show the newest fashion trend, they may communicate with those fashion companies to collect the information, and then they spend a long period to be published. Regarding a long novel book, once it is finished, first, it would be contracted with an editor and a publisher, and then after even several months’ printed, it might be published. By contrast, everything can be posted on the Internet immediately. News is posted just a second after things happen; fashion things are shown once they get the first draft; books can be published online even just a chapter. Without waiting for so long, accessing information online by computers and other electronic is more efficient.

Another reason relating to this opinion is that using electronic devices for information is more engaging than reading printed stuff including books, magazines and newspapers. If people want to gain information from printed stuff, they would go to a physical store and purchase those things. After that, they also need to carry a pile of paper until they find a suitable place to sit and read them. By comparison, nowadays, everyone has electronic devices, no matter if it is a mobile phone, a laptop or a tablet. If people want to read something, they could just turn on their electric devices, search for the information and read it, thus it is more convenient than accessing information through printed things. In addition, compared with printed papers, information is more attractive in electric devices. When it comes to printed things including books, magazines and printed newspapers, they show information in words and pictures. However, for electronic devices, information is shown in a variety of modes, such as videos and audio. Therefore, by accessing information from electronic devices, it is engaging for people to read more.

In conclusion, based on the evidence analysed, as a better alternative to printed books, magazines and printed newspapers, electronic devices are definitely more and more popular for the convenience and engaging reading experience, thus printed stuff is doomed to lose its value in society.