题目：some people think that increasing international business and cultural contacts is a positive trend, while others think that it leads to a loss of national identity. discuss both views and give you own opinion

开头2句话

1改写题目 It is considered by some that increasing international business and cultural contacts is a positive trend, while there are others who think that it leads to a loss of national identities.

comment

用了模版句it is considered by some that。。。while there are others who think。。。

直接题目里的话 但是保证了意思是对的

如果不想完全用题目里的话“带来好处”可以写 increasing international business and cultural links brings benefit to the country或者the rising rate of business and cultural exchange will be beneficial to both individuals and society或者the improvement of international business and cultural will have a beneficial effect／influence on both companies and individuals(body1段写怎么对公司好body2写怎么对个人好）或者更简单的改写is helpful／useful／good

2自己观点

in my opinion，I believe that increasing business and cultural contact for countries is essential

comment

In my opinion 和 I believe 选一个写就可以

increasing business and cultural contact改成 these contacts／this interchange体现我们会用指代

然后要写complete sentence就是说话别说一半 给说全了对什么来说是必要的

7分的写法

I believe that these contacts are essential for a country's development.

body1

第一句话

On the one hand, many think increasing business and cultural contacts can have many benefits and the reason is that increasing business contacts can set up an international business relationship between countries.

comment

这是一个很好的topic sentence想说的是国际间business和cultural的交流可以促进国家之间的关系 但是翻译的时候没说清楚这件事儿 翻译的时候不要想中文里那些高大上的词 翻译大概的意思就可以了 比如这里就把促进翻译成有好处

7分的写法

On the one hand, many think increasing business and cultural contacts can have many benefits and the reason is doing more business provides benefits to both sides

第二句话

The benefit of these relationships is that International business can export the products, which one country is rich in, such as coffee or rice, to the other countries which lack these products.

comment

在考官眼里会看到the benefit of these relationship is that。。。such as coffee or rice 他不会有问题 知道我们在说好处

雅思作文第二个评分的项目是cohesion and coherence所以句子之间链接的一定要顺！！！

7份的写法

body段第二句话就不要写benefit这个词了直接说

International business can export the products, which one country is rich in, to the other countries which lack these products.

第三第四句话

Therefore, the company in that country can sell the products at a higher price and increase the production. This can help the company increase the profit and bring more employment opportunities to the society.

comment

雅思作文第二个评分的项目是cohesion and coherence所以句子之间链接的一定要顺！！！

7分的写法

Therefore, the company in the exporting country can sell the products at a higher price and increase its production. This in turn can help the company increase profits and bring more employment opportunities to the society.

这个文章的task response已经是7分了 所以只focus在了中文翻译英文的部分😄