Chenquan
Body 1: 对了
Body 2: 逻辑有7分 但是 需要提高
1.写清楚 Topic sentence “经济不发达的国家,不应该参与国际救援”
2.标记 你用的是 技能2 的哪个类型
你用的是 不参与救援的弊端,一直推导出来了 没有办法解决本国的困难
到这里,都是对的
你用的是技能2的 A>B>C if 类型扩充
但是,后面,你突然用了 by contrast (相反)
技能2的By contrast 不是这样使用的
复习一下 by contrast 的用法
By contrast 只用在证明 做某件事情的好处
你这里 证明了 做某件事情的弊端
By contrast 强调的是 后面的部分 不是前面的哈
我给你的范文里面 你可以搜索到by contrast 的题
Some people think that painting and drawing are as important as other subjects and they should be compulsory in high school education. To what extent do you agree?
What is more, studying art-related subjects such as painting and drawing facilitates the studying of other subjects. Subjects such as mathematics are less hands-on, more tedious, and complex than the arts. If students study those subjects intensively, their concentration as well as their enthusiasm could decrease, thus impairing learning outcomes. By contrast, if they spend a moderate amount of time on drawing and painting, their mind will be able to take a break and become more refreshed, making it easier for them to comprehend other more taxing subjects.
It has become easier and more affordable for people to visit other countries. Is it a positive or negative development?
Visiting other countries broadens people’s views, thus enhancing their creativity. As every culture has its own stereotypical views and shortcomings, if people have experience of their own culture, it would restrict their outlook and potential to succeed. By contrast, if they are exposed to other cultures, they could learn new ways to approach tasks and this would encourage them to think outside the box, cultivating their creative thinking.
Some people think that it’s easier for adults to learn practical skills (such as computer skills) by themselves; others think that it’s better to learn with a teacher in the classroom. Discuss both sides and give your opinions.
Nevertheless, those encouraging adults to study in a physical school can also justify their statement. Their main concern would be distractions at home, which may make it difficult for adults to concentrate on their learning, so the desired learning outcomes may not be achieved efficiently. In contrast, a classroom is more conducive to learning because distractions are minimal, teachers can supervise them and hold them accountable for their progress and peer-pressure may also motivate students to put more efforts into learning. Therefore, students can pick up a practical skill in a short period of time.